Envy of the twin relationship

I can't count how many times I've heard "oh, I wish I was a twin!" Also people ask "what's it like being a twin?" They simply can't fathom it. And they ask "are you two close?" indicating by their nods and visible pleasure that they hoped we are close. While they are happy to have their stereotype confirmed, some people envy our twin relationship. These are the people who say "well, my sister and I are just as close as twins." No, you're not! It's just not possible, simply because you aren't twins. I often tell people I don't know what it's like to be a twin any more than they know what it's like being a singleton. I have nothing to compare it with. It's my experience. I have brothers and we are close, and it's not the same as the closeness I have with my twin sister.

Our mother is envious of our relationship. She hasn't had the kind of mother/daughter relationship she dreamed of and was told to expect. I knew before she told me that my sister was pregnant with David, and with Julia. Alana told my mother about Julia before we talked, so my mother would be the first to know. Yet I was the first to know, because I knew without being told. No mother can compete with that. And she is envious.

Envy manifests in the implied denial of our special bond as twins. Envy seeks to destroy what it cannot have. Envy knows it isn't the same, knows it's not achievable, and so needs to denigrate and devalue that which it secretly covets. And envy also emerges in our mother's desire to separate us, to pit us against each other, to ally herself with one of us against the other. But it doesn't work! Because we are united. If I weren't so annoyed by it, I'd have some compassion for her. Maybe another day.